Let’s start this Wednesday off with a slow jam.
Let’s start this Wednesday off with a slow jam.
I already knew almost all of this trivia, plus I’ve had the boxed set for Gilmore Girls for over five years now and have watched the entire thing at least three times. Not that I’m bragging (I am absolutely bragging—is this what fandom is?)At this point, “Gilmore Girls” fans are counting down the days until the beloved series hits Netflix. Sadly, we still have half the month of September left. So we have no choice but to indulge in as much “Gilmore” nostalgia as pos…
I would give a kidney (and probably an arm and a leg) to make a movie happen. Let that just be known now.
Stars Hollow forever.
As an aside, while watching that tumblr net neutrality video, I was like, who’s this random doing the voice-over? What an amateur!
It’s Mark Ruffalo.
Today’s the day. The day you help save the internet from being ruined.
(Long story short: The FCC is about to make a critical decision as to whether or not internet service providers have to treat all traffic equally. If they choose wrong, then the internet where anyone could start a website for any reason at all, the internet that’s been so momentous, funny, weird, and surprising—that internet could cease to exist. Here’s your chance to preserve a beautiful thing.)
How can you not support this?
Aw, man you guys. Tumblr has made this sooooo easy. Let them connect you to your senator’s office in support of internet neutrality.
One other thing about my dress is that it kind of reminds me of the tattered ruins of Cinderella’s first dress, but it a good way. I also can’t wear a bra with it. Cool talk.
So I bought this dress for the ball (aside: saying “the ball” is so melodramatic, like I have delusions that I’m in a Disney movie). It’s the kind of dress that looks really nice as you move around in it. It flutters. It’s also an undeniably weird dress. But I bought it. It’s mine. I’m having the hem altered so I don’t trip over my weird dress at the ball. It’s definitely a grown-up gown, not a prom dress. I was okay with wearing a prom dress, but I’m also okay with trying to be more elegant…if color-blocked green and white can be considered elegant. I bought some leopard print sandals to go with it because that seemed the right thing to do.
Better than non-beaded gowns obviously. Rent the Runway keeps coming up. You guys are persuasive and I’ve seen selfies of you in your dresses here on tumblr, and you look lovely, but my midsection is a special snowflake. Even with being sent two different sizes, I don’t have faith that a dress I pick out online will fit or be flattering.
Tomorrow I’m going to the mall to try on dresses to get a sense of what styles and sizes work for me. Maybe I’ll pretend I’m a super fancy business lady stranded in a small town. My luggage has been lost, along with my expensive designer gown! And I have a super important client meeting to go to! At a gala! Lumberjacks will be there! I have no choice but to go to the Dillard’s in the local mall and buy something OFF THE RACK!
(Here is where I admit to something super shameful that provided a lot of amusement for me for years. When I was a kid, my parents would get those super thick J.C. Penney catalogues. I used to pretend that I was being sent on a super abrupt, super secret vacation. The premise of the vacation was always shaky, but basically I was going to be gone for three months and I couldn’t bring any clothes of my own. I HAD TO ORDER THEM FROM THE J.C. PENNEY CATALOGUE. Everything…underwear, shoes, accessories. I picked out an entire wardrobe from each catalogue. It was HARD. Do you know how many grandma clothes are in Penney’s catalogues? All of them!)
(Now kids have the internet so they don’t have to play dumb, made-up games with themselves.)
After thinking there would be no way for Dominic and me to go to the Air Force ball this year, it looks like we’re going. And I have nothing to WEAR. If you guys have any tips on cute but inexpensive formal dresses—online or in actual brick and mortar stores—please send them my way. I’d like to think I could do rent the runway, but I’m terrified of ordering the wrong size dress. If I bought the dress online and it didn’t fit, I might still have time to have it altered.
My boobs are my best asset, so I look best in halter or v-necks. I need a structured middle. Jewel tones compliment my complexion.
I will probably go to the MALL and wander around lost in the prom section, and this whole thing is going to make me cry and give me feeeeelings about my body, but maybe just maybe I can find a dress that makes me feel like a bombshell. I neeeeeeed this. I need to feel pretty. Help me!
Look, I don’t mean to brag about my mothering and life skills, but ever since Dominic left on a work trip Tuesday, I have literally eaten only rotel dip and chips, a few grapes, and three petit fours. Also Dax and I have been snuggling on the couch every evening and watching Parks and Recreation together. It has been AWESOME.
TWO PEAS IN A POD….JOSEPHINE & EARTHA
Eartha Kitt & Josephine Baker with there pet leopards.
I mean dost thou even need me to say it.
Mayhap you can convince yourself that any Sightless could stride the earth(a) accompanied by a jungle (Kitt) cat of supernatural self-possession.
But mayhap you can convince yourself of anything. If thou catcheth my drift.
This is not an indictment of charmcore. BUT…”there pet leopards.”
To add insult to injury with my laptop dying today, we finally got the estimate for our septic tank work (after two months of wading through bureaucratic bullshit) and it was thousands more than we had anticipated. So after I picked up Dax from school we went to the grocery store so I could buy some Velveeta to make rotel dip to eat my feelings, and then I couldn’t even find it. I cannot think of anything more embarrassing than stopping a store employee to ask where the fake cheese is. Thankfully I finally found it and spared myself of that small indignity. Victory is in the small things (not really, this has been a shitty day).
I think the bongos of summer might have actually been appliance death bells.
In light of another US journalist’s death at the hands of ISIS, this poem is haunting and timely.
63words tagged me to post the last photo I took on my phone. A few days ago, after I took Dax to school, I found that he’d shoved this rubber snake into the cabinet. This was after he’d spent the morning chasing me around the house with it. The last video on my phone is of our cat Thomas Pynchon playing with this snake.
Rubber snakes, good toys for toddlers and cats.
(I’m not going to tag anyone, but feel free to tag yourself if you like).
I don’t see one Oxford comma here.
I’ll give up the Oxford comma when you pry it from my frigid, frosty, frozen, cadaverous, lifeless, stiff, defunct extremities.